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New age Parenting
New age parenting is all about becoming your kids friend and mentor instead of just being a bossy or imposing parent. With the advent of the technological era, more and more parents now have access to the world wide web and from here they are able to pick up fine bits and pieces of how parenting should be. With kids becoming more aware these days, coercive methods cannot be applied. In fact, psychologists from across the world encourage parents to take a more composed approach to parenting.
Here’s a few traits of the new age parent-
Changing role of dad
Remember how dad would just come home from work late and slouch on the couch. His little girl would run up to him asking him for help with homework. The standard answer would be ‘not sweetie, daddy’s tired, go to mamma’. And that was it. The role of the dad in the upbringing of their child was just restricted to providing for the family financially. A new age parent on the other hand would answer this question by saying ‘just give me a few minutes, I will freshen up and then we can do this together’. From changing diapers to being a mentor rather than just a strict father-figure the role of the dad in this age has changed. And this article, discusses the role of both parents.
Compose yourself then calm your childThe first thing that has changed in the new age parent is that they no longer swear by yelling or shouting at their kids. The age of spanking and threatening the child has gone completely too. On the other hand if a toddler or child is shouting at the top of their voice, the parents don’t yell back. Instead they take a minute to compose themselves then warmly approach the child, making them aware of what is wrong and why they are reacting in such a way. The failure of getting a negative response from the parent automatically makes the child much more calmer. This applies to teenagers too. You have to understand this is the time they let their hair down, so again, let them do their thing but ensure that you are calm even in the worst of situations. Shouting at your teen in front of their friends won’t do you any one any good.
Being Firm – But ExplanatoryRemember that you are still the boss here but in the new-age parenting era, everyone else likes to have a say too. So your 4-year old would demand to know why he/ she was deprived ice-cream while the other guests were served the same. Here instead of just saying ‘Because I said so’, try another approach where you explain why ice-cream could be hurting their throat or is not appropriate because of high sugar content. Don’t give in here, but do remain firm and hold your ground with explanations.
Learn to divert attentionBe a teenager or a child, both of them needs you around only that they need to be diverted first so that they listen to you. The problem here is that most parents focus so much on the underlying problem that it becomes too much for their child to handle. So if your teen is insisting on going for a rock concert that you feel is not age-appropriate you should first try explaining it to them. Finally, if you think this is not working, let them know but instead offer them another incentive that distracts them. It could be a much coveted outfit or a trip with friends.
Make them feel involvedAll kids be it teens or younger children are involved in the tasks off the new age parents. It could be household chores or helping you pick an outfit or even something related to work. What happens here is that kids are able to understand that the family’s dependencies on each other are mutual. Making them feel involved is also a part of the process where the family bonds together. And it is this bond that will help you to overcome the tiniest or the biggest of the hurdles together.
Create realistic rules – TogetherEarlier the norm was that a parent made a rule and the child had to follow it, which led to rebellion in most cases along with retaliation. Today, the rules have changed, though the new age parent still makes the decisions around the house and sets up norms, the teen or even a tween is made to feel more involved. A general discussion is held before fixing up these rules, where as the system says ‘both parties get a fair chance to speak’. Doing so helps your kid also understand your worry for them and why it is justified. And the result is that they will not risk this loss of freedom for something that is not worth indulging in. Be it that glass of alcohol or going over that 11pm deadline.
Is New Age Parenting For You?There is really no right or wrong way they say, when it comes to parenting. But that is really not true. As more and more new age parents are becoming aware of this mutual relationship with their kids and ways to thrive on it, they are adapting unconventional methods to bond with their child too. According to research, this change in approach has made the kids more reciprocal towards their parents feeling. On the whole this turns out to be a win-win situation for both parents and kids. But in the long run, as a parent you know what’s best for them, it is just that the approach needs to be tweaked a bit.